Clergy Corner
December 2006
TV & Teens: How Much is Too Much?
By Fr. Untzag Nalbandian
Church of the Holy Ascension of Trumbull, CT Recently, a parishioner of mine, who graduated from high school in 1948, told me that at that time he only knew two or three families who had a TV set in their home. To my question as to what his generation of teens did in their free time, he responded, "We listened to the radio for four hours a day, usually from 6 to 10 p.m."
Today in almost every American home there is more than one TV sets due in great part to their affordable price. Sixty years ago however, when an average person's salary was $50 a week, a black and white TV set would cost between $500 and $1,000.
That was almost sixty years ago. This is 2006.
If in the 1920s only the rich had a telephone in their home, or in the 1950s only the rich had a television set, today almost every home has these two technologies. It is no longer a luxury to have a phone line or a television set at home or at work.
So, we also know that today people spend a lot of time watching TV or talking on the phone. I wish to focus on our teens and their habit of watching TV. I wish to ask you, what you think, and how much TV watching a day is too much?
In a recent Time Magazine (10/20/06 issue) article entitled, "America by the Numbers," the author has a section with the subtitle, "How We Spend Our Time." In our daily free time, we spend on average, 23 minutes reading, 29 minutes exercising, and somewhere between three and four hours watching TV. I am afraid that when it comes to our teenagers this statistic with regards to watching TV is probably even closer to five hours.
There is nothing wrong with spending some time in front of the tube - to get the news, be it local or worldwide, or watching a nice movie, or educational programs, and or hearing good preachers preach. The question that I ask you today is not whether you watch TV or not - I know you do (who doesn't?). Instead, what do you watch, and how much time do you spend before the TV every day?
Over the years, many parents have told me that their kids watch too much TV, or that their kids do their homework while watching TV, or that their children sleep late because TV programs are their companions until late night hours.
I want to tell you that there is life beyond watching TV. Do exercise, play tennis, swim, read good books, do volunteer work in your community, attend badarak in your local Armenian Church, serve in your church's choir or at the altar, be part of the ACYOA, attend St. Vartan Camp and St. Nersess Summer Conferences. Go abroad with your parents, visit Armenia with Diocesan youth groups, or learn to play the piano, violin, or any instrument for that matter. You will be happier and more appreciative of having done all this later in your life. Why not keep a journal of your daily life and even try to write about different topics? Communicate with your parents. Ask your grandparents questions. If not them, speak to the elders in your community, asking them to share their lives' stories and experiences with you.
Remember, if you are one of those who spends four to five hours a day watching TV, and does very little of any of the above-mentioned or such activities, then maybe it is time for you to think about bringing some change into your daily schedule. I know teenagers love TV - adults do as well. But again, I'll leave with this question to ponder: How much TV is too much? As always, the choice is yours.
November 2006
Glory to You God
By Fr. Shnork Souin
St. Mary Church of Livingston, NJ Glory to you God, Glory to You,
In all things Lord, Glory to You. St. John the Golden Mouth (Vosgeperan) God has blessed us with riches and rewards beyond all comprehension and speech. While many of us are thankful for the earthly blessings which we may enjoy here and now, they can not even compare to that which awaits us in our Father’s kingdom.
Our earthly rewards are often a result of honest labor and the sweat of our brow whereas our heavenly award is the gracious gift of our All Merciful God who purchased us in his Precious Blood. We have received as St. John says, "Grace heaped upon Grace" (John 1:16). Yes, we have so much to be thankful for not only today but always.
Thanksgiving Day is that special day that invites us to gather with our families to celebrate the gifts that God has given us and to thank Him for all that we have and all that we are.
Dear Beloved in Christ, Taste and see that the Lord is sweet; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him. Psalm 34:8 On November 23rd, an annual tradition will take place that will see more Americans traveling than at any other time throughout the year, even more than at Christmas. It is the day that we all know as Thanksgiving Day. In spite of the fears and distress that many Americans are living with these days, it still promises to be a time of happiness, joy, and family reunions.
One of the best parts about this day, as we all know, is the home cooked dinner. The succulent Turkey, gravy and cranberry sauce, the double helpings of pilaf and home made pies. Who wouldn’t travel long distances to be with family and to enjoy that meal! Of course, this tradition is reminiscent of and similar to the pilgrims who also traveled many miles across oceans, only to settle down and enjoy a meal of Thanksgiving upon settling in the new land. It’s a great time to be reminded of the blessings that God heaps on us. In our prayers of thanksgiving on that day, I urge and encourage all of you to pray this prayer.
O Christ our God, bless this food and this drink of your servants with a spiritual blessing, and grant health to our souls and our bodies; so that enjoying the food our bodies require in the modesty befitting our religious calling, we might share in your good things, and in the kingdom of heaven, together with all your saints. So that in thanksgiving, we might glorify you, with the Father and with the all-Holy Spirit, now and always and unto the ages of ages, Amen.
This prayer is an ancient Armenian prayer used in the monasteries for centuries. It directs our thoughts as Christians toward the blessings God provides and the ultimate destination of our journey and pilgrimage here on Earth. We are invited on a weekly basis to travel a great distance, not only geographically but spiritually, to attend a great Banquet set by our Heavenly Father, so that by eating we may "taste and see how sweet is the Lord." The Badarak from ancient times has been called the Eucharist, from a Greek word meaning Thanksgiving. Early Christians, understood that Holy Communion in the Badarak was THE Thanksgiving meal for all Christians, given for the Life of the World.
It is essential, according to the invitation of our Lord, to make the pilgrimage often and frequently, lest we die of spiritual starvation. The opportunity for the Lord's Thanksgiving meal is a weekly feast where he sets His Table for us. Every time we eat and drink at the Lord's Table, we give thanks to God for bringing us into His new world, His heavenly kingdom, a Land flowing with milk and honey where we remain in Communion with Him and through Him, eating from the Tree of Life so that we might live, in glorifying and thanking Him together with all the living saints who dwell in His house forever, Amen.
I wish you all a very happy and blessed Thanksgiving. The Church is Over Song
By Fr. Stepanos Doudoukjian
St. Peter Church of Watervliet, NY I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall at all times be in my mouth.
(Psalm 43:1) Orhnetseets uz Der hamenayn zham; Hamenayn zham orhnootyoon nora ee peran eem. (55)
Growing up as a youngster, I remember calling this song "the Church is over song". I would be so happy that the long service was over. In time I came to realize the special importance of singing this hymn and psalm at the conclusion of the Badarak
When we say "Amen" at the end of the Divine Liturgy in another sense it is a new beginning. It is an invitation to live our Liturgy each day and each hour of our lives. That is what Badarak and blessing the Lord at all times have in common. Even though we bless, praise and thank God throughout our Divine Liturgy, we must continue to bless the Lord from Monday through Saturday in our homes, at school, and work, and among our non-Armenian friends. While the Badarak ends around noon on Sunday, our worship must never end.
When I leave the church sanctuary at the end of the Divine Liturgy, I ask myself: How will I bless the Lord at all times during the coming week? What specific things can I say or do that will be blessing to our Lord following the Sunday worship experience? How will my mouth, tongue and words praise the Lord?
Dear Lord, I thank you for all your blessings.
Everything I have in my life is truly a blessing. Help me always to keep your praises on the lips of my mouth and in the depths of my heart , so that every waking and sleeping hour can be an opportunity for me to bless and thank you. Amen Rev. Fr. Stepanos Doudoukjian
from Weekly Reflections on the Divine Liturgy for 2006 by the faculty, alumni and friends of St. Nersess Armenian Seminary God's Constant Call to Become a Priest
By Fr. Garabed KochakianÃÂ
St. John Church of Southfield, MI God's voice comes to us through people in different ways and through experiences in different ways.
The voice of GodâÂÂs call came to me when I was in High school, when I was becoming deeply involved in the Armenian Church community as an older teenager. I didnâÂÂt grow up in the Armenian Church. I was baptized in the Episcopal Church, attended a Unitarian Church and then wasnâÂÂt confirmed in the Armenian Church until I was 21.
Through it all there were âÂÂpoints of light,â experiences that were like voices that spoke to me. There were opportunities given to me: A priest invited me to learn how to play the organ and I became the assistant organist at my church. I joined the ACYOA and interacted with other youth. And I went to a summer study conference at St. Nersess Seminary in Evanston, Illinois.
That was a profound call for me, my first St. Nersess experience. There I realized that many other young people believed the same things that I believed. I wasnâÂÂt an oddball! Young Armenians from other parts of the United States shared the same faith that I did and we had fun together. We celebrated it! At St. Nersess I felt happy and complete. I wanted to be in that church family and that was a great reinforcement of GodâÂÂs constant call to become a priest. My involvement in the Armenian Church made me feel fully happy and complete. I realized that through that feeling of happiness and completeness, God was speaking to me, calling me to take my place in the Armenian Church as a priest.
I was in seminary at St. VladimirâÂÂs Orthodox Theological Seminary for seven years. I had my ups and downs, points of frustration and points of great satisfaction. I shared it all with my classmatesâÂÂFr. Kevork (Arakelian), Fr. Yeprem (Kelegian), Deacon Sarkis Hardy, Fr. Abraham Ohanessian, Clara Takesian, Valerie Goekjian-Zahirsky, Michael Zeytoonian, Fr. Krikor SabounjianâÂÂall of these people who are all my colleagues now. I could hear GodâÂÂs voice speaking to me through them. Through these loving relationships I felt that God was reinforcing me in the midst of my journey to serve him as a priest.
In those days at Seminary we saw so many students come and go. All the time I used to shutter, thinking, âÂÂAm I going to be the next one to fall from grace? Will I be the next one to change my mind and leave this place? But it didnâÂÂt happen. I was encouraged by God through my friends. This was a voice from God telling me to stay with it.
The best way to know if God is calling you to be a priest is to pay close attention to people and experiences. GodâÂÂs call does not come on the telephone. It doesnâÂÂt fall from heaven. Through it all I learned to watch and to listen even when everything in my life seemed noisy. In that noise GodâÂÂs voice is there someplace.
How do you discern your call? How do you figure it out? By listening. If you hear the smallest thing that catches the ear of your heart, listen to it. There might be a profound message in it. Give yourself over to spiritual listening. ItâÂÂs the way of the heart. God speaks to you from inside, from within your heart. ItâÂÂs within you to be able to discern everything thatâÂÂs outside of you. GodâÂÂs voice comes from two places: from within your heart and from people and experiences outside.
Learn more about how other priests heard the call by clicking here.
Sometimes You Get the Breaks
By Fr. Tavit Boyajian
Sts. Joachim and Anne Church, Palos Heights, IL My brother is two years my senior; and as kids we were fiercely competitive.ÃÂàI remember one day my brother and I were playing croquet in the backyard.ÃÂàHe was winning, and rubbing my face in it.ÃÂàI was so mad when I lost the game I threw my croquet mallet (in no particular direction).ÃÂàWell, the second I let go of the mallet I realized there was a serious problem with the trajectory of the throw.ÃÂàIt was flying right toward the house, and right toward the dining room window.ÃÂàTime stood still.ÃÂàAbout the same time as I saw the mallet crashing through the window, I realized that my mother saw the whole thing from the kitchen window.ÃÂàI canâÃÂÃÂt remember ever seeing my motherâÃÂÃÂs eyes wider than they were at that moment; and needless to say I was called into the house.ÃÂàI apologized for breaking the window, was lectured by my parents, and summarily punished.
But there was a problem...the window was still broken.
My parents willingness to forgive my sin in no way repaired the window.ÃÂÃÂ The glass was still all over the dining room and someone (my dad) still had to measure the broken frame, go to the hardware store, buy a new window, bring it home, and install it.ÃÂÃÂ The reason they bought the window is I was a kid and did not have the money to pay for the window; and even if I had had the money to buy the window, I would not have known how to install the replacement glass.
As children, we have probably all broken things at one time or another that we could not fix due to a lack of money or a lack of know how; and we have probably all had times when our parents fixed what we broke because we were unable to do so.ÃÂÃÂ Now that we are adults, however, when we break something we can take care of fixing it ourselves.ÃÂÃÂ Or can we?
From the churchâÃÂÃÂs standpoint, whenever we sin, we break ourselves, and damage GodâÃÂÃÂs creation.ÃÂàWhen we repent of our sin, the damage still remains.ÃÂàJust as a sincere apology cannot pay for or fix a broken window, repentance and contrition for sin cannot, by itself, pay for, or fix the damage we have inflicted on our souls, or on GodâÃÂÃÂs universe.ÃÂàWhen we sin, even though we repent, the effects of our sin remain; because we do not have the capacity to fix ourselves, or all creation, from the multitudinous ramifications of our sins.ÃÂàÃÂÃÂ
What then are we to do?ÃÂÃÂ How are we, and how is the universe, to be repaired from the damage we have inflicted upon it?ÃÂÃÂ
Enter Jesus.ÃÂÃÂ
The main purpose of Jesus dying on the cross was to pay for our sins. Just as the replacement window cost a certain amount, so too we owe a certain amount because we have sinned against God.ÃÂÃÂ But what do we owe for our sins?ÃÂÃÂ The Holy Bible reminds us that the wages of sin is death... (Roman 6:23). That is to say, we owe our lives to pay for the damage we have inflicted.ÃÂÃÂ
When you think about it, the price we owe because of our sins is reasonable.ÃÂàGod in heaven was under no obligation to create the universe, nor did he have to create humanity.ÃÂàYet in his perfect loving and sharing will he decided to generously create us.ÃÂàHe abundantly gave us his life and love.ÃÂàHe created us to live in perfect union with him and his creation.ÃÂàYet we decided not to follow his laws and rebelled against our loving creator.ÃÂàThe just punishment for our rebellion would seem to be that the creator simply takes back the life he never had to give us in the first place.ÃÂàThus, the Bible tells us that the wages of sin is deathâÃÂæ but interestingly, rather than requiring our death, God sent his son to pay the price of death for us.ÃÂÃÂ
Not only did JesusâÃÂàdeath on the cross cancel the debt we owed to God, JesusâÃÂàdeath also gave us the ability to be repaired of our sin as well.ÃÂàAs the designer and creator of humanity, Jesus is capable of healing the spiritual damage within us by entering into us spiritually and healing us spiritually. When we faithfully receive JesusâÃÂàbody and blood; that is Holy Communion, he enters into us and sanctifies us, making us spiritually clean of all our uncleanliness.ÃÂàThe Bible tells us that the blood of Jesus...cleanses us from all sin. (1 John 1:7).ÃÂàAnd further, our church hymns remind us that JesusâÃÂàblood is sprinkled throughout the cosmosâÃÂÃÂ, repairing and renewing not only us, but all of GodâÃÂÃÂs creation as well.
The next time you break something think about this; we too are broken in our sins.ÃÂàWe could not pay for our sins, so God paid for our sins; and he offers us the ability to be spiritually repaired and renewed in the blood of his son.ÃÂàFor this reason, brothers and sisters in Christ, letâÃÂÃÂs make our regular Sunday reception of Holy Communion a testimony of our thanks to and love for God, who has given us spiritual healing in and through his son Jesus, to whom, together with the Holy Spirit is befitting glory, dominion and honor, now and forever, and unto the ages of ages.
The Choice is Yours
By Fr. Tateos Abdalian
Holy Trinity Church, Cheltenham, PA I recently read a story that I wish to share. Imagine the mystery and delight of not just hearing, but seeing the story of Jesus for the first time, almost as an eyewitness. It happened to a primitive tribe in the jungles of East Asia when missionaries showed them the Jesus film. These people never heard of Jesus and they had never seen a motion picture. Then, all at once, on one unforgettable evening, they saw it all - the gospel in their own language, visible and real. As they watched and saw this good man Jesus, who healed the sick and was adored by children, held without trial and beaten by jeering soldiers, the people came unglued. They stood up and began to shout at the cruel men on the screen, demanding that this outrage stop. Remember this was a primitive tribe in the jungle of East Asia. They weren't sophisticated like us. When nothing happened, they attacked the missionary running the projector. Perhaps he was responsible for this injustice! He was forced to stop the film and explain that the story wasn't over yet, that there was more. So they settled back onto the ground, holding their emotions in tenuous check. Then came the crucifixion. Again, the people could not hold back. They began to weep and wail with such loud grief that once again the film had to be stopped. The missionary again tried to calm them, explaining that the story still wasn't over, that there was more. So they composed themselves and sat down to see what happened next. Then came the resurrection. Pandemonium broke out this time, but for a different reason. The gathering had spontaneously erupted into a party. The noise now was of jubilation, and it was deafening. The people were dancing and slapping each other on the back. Christ is Risen! Christ is Risen, indeed! Again the missionary had to shut off the projector. But this time he didn't tell them to calm down and wait for what was next. All that was supposed to happenÃÂâÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂin the story and in their livesÃÂâÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂwas happening. Such a contrast to our behavior during our worship services. But imagine, this: Our worship service ÃÂâÃÂÃÂÃÂàour Badarak - is periodically interrupted because the people are overcome by the enormity and emotion, the sheer weight of the gospel story in which the joy and sadness, the adoration appropriate to such an event simply take over. And consider what it would mean. Like the primitives, we would be fulfilling the purpose for which God made us - which is "to glorify God and enjoy Him forever." These two go together, to glorify and to enjoy. And when we do this, wonder-full things happen to us. One of the great church fathers, St. Irenaeus, boldly said, "The glory of God is man fully alive, and the life of man is the vision of God." Is that you? The glorious gospel we preach is nothing if not exciting. It needs no augmentation or props to make it soÃÂâÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂit needs only to be let loose to do its work. So imagine being in your home parish in which people ÃÂâÃÂÃÂÃÂàYOU - actually come alive. People shouting AMEN and testifying to that word.ÃÂÃÂÃÂàSinging "PARK KEZ DER" "Glory to you O Lord," during Badarak. Oh, the looks that you will get!! Or, how about embracing others, smiling and singing with joy the words of the Kiss of Peace. Wow! Imagine, during our 40-day celebration of Easter, hearing the words Christ is Risen - Kreestos Haryav ee Merelotz - and being able to dance with joy as the angels in heaven. Imagine! The first Sunday after Easter is called New Sunday.ÃÂÃÂÃÂàThis year it will also be the Sunday we remember our Martyrs of the 1915 Genocide. I believe there can be no greater testimony to their memory and sacrifice than to hear you and your generation standing in our Armenian Churches, praying and shouting to the glory of God. The saddest thing would be to hear your silence. As always, the choice is yours.ÃÂÃÂÃÂàFather, Should I Get a Tattoo
By Fr. Vazken Karajian
Holy Cross Church, Union City, NJ Tattooing is the practice of making permanent designs on the body. It is done by pricking small holes in the skin with a sharpened stick, bone, or needle that has been dipped in pigments with natural colors (World Book Encyclopedia). What prompted me to write about tattoos? Once a former Sunday School student had a big argument with his mother over tattoos. He was eager to obtain permission to ink a tattoo on his body. He asked me if tattoos are mentioned in the Bible. Instead of responding "YES" or "NO," I simply said I don't recall; but, I will find out. These urged me to research this subject. I should have responded to the Sunday School student "YES" immediately. Quite frankly, I was caught off guard. The Biblical account is crystal clear on this matter. Perhaps this is not what the student wanted to hear. However, the Mosaic Law forbade God's people to tattoo themselves. In the book of Leviticus we read "You must not make any cuttings in your flesh for a deceased soul, and you must not put tattoo marking upon yourselves. I am the Lord!" (Leviticus 19:28). Furthermore the book of Deuteronomy clarifies it even more, "You are the sons of the Lord yourselves or make any baldness on your foreheads for the dead. For you are a people holy to the Lord your God, and the Lord has chosen you to be a people for his own possession." (Deuteronomy 14:1-2). By complying with God's ban on tattoo markings, the Israelites would stand out as different from other nations. A Brief Ancient History
Personal Experience on My Own Skin
Tattoos are everywhere, even in Armenia. In today's society regardless of age, race, sex, status, and gender, tattoos are common especially with athletes, sports figures, movie stars, and singers. It is a grave concern to many parents that their teenagers will follow suit by displaying tattoos inked on their necks, shoulders, hands, arms, waists, ankles, despite parental consent and/or approval. Difficult to provide exact statistics; one source does estimate that 25 percent of all 15-to-25-year-olds in the United States have a tattoo. To ink a tattoo is a personal choice. Tattoos are appealing and cool to some. They vary in shape, size, form, color and image conveying messages both good and bad. Opinions about tattooing vary depending on who you ask. Some claim that tattoos are works of art. Others claim that tattoos are symbols of independence having charge of their life and feeling that they have control over their appearance. Some tattoos contain obscene words and provocative slogans; some are cute; some are gross; and some are very creative. Health Risks
Tattoo Removals
Even though tattoos are inked permanently, various methods can be used to remove them: Laser removal (burning the tattoo away); surgical removal (cutting the tattoo away); dermabrasion (sanding the skin with a wire brush to remove the epidermis and dermis); salabrasion (using a salt solution to soak the tattooed skin); and scarification (removing the tattoo with an acid solution and creating a scar in its place. These methods are expensive and can be painful. It is more painful to have a tattoo removed by laser than to get the original tattoo, says Teen magazine. What Will Others Think?
An article in American Demographics magazine states "It is clear that most Americans consider it risky to have visible body art." Eighty-five percent [of youths] agree with this statement. People who have visible tattoos should realize that this form of self-expression is likely to create obstacles in their career or personal relationships. Consider also whether getting a tattoo would enhance or undermine your claim to be a Christian. Tattoos can be a cause for stumbling others. (II Corinthians 6:3) It is not shocking anymore that some youths have their tattoos placed on hidden parts of the body. Even their parents may not know about these secret tattoos. But beware! An emergency trip to hospital or to a doctor's office or simply taking a shower at school could make your secret common knowledge! Honesty is the best policy. We should conduct ourselves honestly in all things, and avoid deception. (Hebrews 13:18) Change of heart and change of attitude!
The Core Message
Bibliography
1. Holy Bible 2. World Book Encyclopedia 3. Teen Magazine 4. American Demographic Magazine 5. Plain Truth Magazine Applied Christian Love
By Rev. Fr. Yeprem Kelegian
St. Mesrob Armenian Church in Racine, WI Love. What is it and what does it mean to you? To narrow it down, I asked a few teens in my parish what they thought I should write about. They weren't much help because they brought up so many topics that I would need a few pages and a smarter guy than I to write about it. When I asked them, "What is the first thing(s) you think about when I say the word, 'love,'" their responses included: family love; love of parents; sex; love of self; boy/girl relationships and where to "draw the line"; sex and dating; friendship; Christian love, and much more. First off, I think love defines us as human beings. Proof? God created us in His image (Genesis); God is Love (I John). Thus, in order to be fully human, we need to be love (in a pure sense) to others. Sure, under the light of logic this last sentence doesn't hold up, but work with me. Let's look at some different aspects of applied Christian love. Toward others, as Christians, we are to be charitable and kind. Your ACYOA activities could almost ALL be based on serving others: Visiting the elderly; working at soup kitchens; collecting food for the poor; working on Habitat for Humanity projects; raising money for all sorts of charities. And, after awhile, it becomes fun being kind to and serving others and working together. Christianity without loving actions is, well, it is not what Christ had in mind. Loving others in a social setting, like in school. Yes, I know there are people you call "jerks", "snobs" or "stuck up". Cut them some slack. As a kid, when I would complain about someone, my Dad, in broken English, would simply say, "Every house has four walls and you don't know what is making that person be that way." Don't look for the bad in others when you can find out what is good about them. You don't have to be best friends or be their face book.ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ You just have to accept what is good in a person. Christ told us that if we love only those who love us, we are no better than heathens (people who have no God). In your church group, how about the person who doesn't fit in, says the wrong things, or seems awkward? Never (never) let that person sit or stand alone at any function, any time. Christ was always reaching out to those who didn't "fit in." Reach out and follow Christ's example. Love of Parents. I know that this can be hard at times. Sometimes parents can get all over you about so many things. Here's a secret you should know about parents: When they go a little nuts on you about something, it is because they're scared. It is because they love you that they are scared for you. Sometimes, they don't always express it in ways that make sense to you. And, they don't know, yet, that you are generally right about things and the world you live in. Try to be patient with them. Remember that as soon as you raise your voice, a wall goes up. Once you have established a respectful conversation (this may take time), you will be able to have great conversations. And Parents do have some great advice based on a lot of experience. Love and dating and sex. Dating, group or one on one, can be a good thing. It's fun going places with someone special. It's good to get to know another person on a deeper level. But, also know where to "draw the line" regarding sex. Whenever I ask high school kids what they learn in sex education class in school, they tell me about "safe sex" talks. They also say that the teachers advise against sex before marriage because of the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases. That's it?!? What about "self respect?" What about God (OK, public schools can't go there)? First, know that there is a difference between love and lust. Lust is jealous, impatient, demanding, insensitive, deceptive, manipulative, needy, pushy, insistent. If you see any one of these in the guy/girl you are dating, then know that there is lust, not love. And, why not have sex (or much of what leads up to it) before marriage?
1. Self Respect
Girls, guys (good guys) will always respect you more if you are chaste (not having sex). Chaste is cool. They love/like you and want to be with you for your deeper qualities. If sex is all you can offer a guy, what is that saying about you? Boys, you know the guys that brag about sex, talk about what they have done? They're jerks. If the only thing they can brag about in a relationship with a girl is that, then they are really shallow. 2. God
Love. "God so loved the world that he gave his only son so that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life." Now, that is love. He really loves us. Be happy. And, let's rejoice in the many ways we can express love to others: to our parents, to the poor and hungry, to friends, to others at school or in our youth group. And, by being kind, generous, giving, chaste, sensitive to others, we are getting closer to the God who loves us so much! |
