Helping parents

The Diocesan Department of Youth and Education than spoke to the delegates about the various programs, efforts, and resources available to make solid the goal of the theme: “Church and Home: One in Spirit.”

We need to get back to the basics. But when you decide to chart a new course, you don’t throw everything out,” said Fr. Mardiros Chevian, who has been working with the Diocesan youth and education staff. “You look to see what it is that is successful, what has worked. And in our Diocese there are a number of programs that have worked.”

Julie Hoplamazian then spoke about the importance of immersion programs, those extended, in-depth programs that are essential to building Christian communities and strengthening individuals’ faith.

“Immersion programs work because they provide intensive study and learning about your faith,” she said. “They provide exposure to language and culture. They allow participants to live and explore as a group. They help develop a sense of longing and connection.”

Some of the immersion programs offered by the Diocese include summer camps, alternative spring break trips for college students, teacher training programs, junior choir programs, Sunday and Armenian School, conferences for young Armenians at St. Nersess Seminary, and service trips to Armenia.

During a video presentation of the various programs, the delegates heard from young people who took part in these programs.

“The alternative spring break trip was a wonderful experience. Not only was I able to make new friends, but I was able to see my faith in action. And we got a chance to spread our Armenian spirit and culture to others in our work group. This is a service in faith as Armenians,” said Deanna Schanz, who joined the Diocese’s college ministry trip to the south to build homes through Habitat for Humanity.

“My experience at camp is something I will never forget,” said long-time St. Vartan Camp participant Haig Hovnanian. “We need to teach our kids and help them grow. Camp has molded me into a better Armenian, a better Christian, and a better person.”

“Our immersion programs have touched the minds and hearts and souls of thousands and thousands of young people and adults,” Fr. Mardiros said. “These are the programs which have penetrated the minds of our people and their homes. These are terrific programs, but we need to take steps to get even deeper into the homes of our members.”

Fr. Mardiros told delegates the Diocese was working on preparing a resource guidebook to give parents the information they need to teach their children.

“Why shouldn’t every Armenian, young or old, be able to say the Hayr Mer? Why shouldn’t every Armenian know a few phrases in Armenian? Why shouldn’t every Armenian know what the sacraments are, what they mean to us, and how we should prepare for them? Why shouldn’t every Armenian know we have traditions unique to ourselves? Building the Armenian Christian home is what we are called to do and it is what we are going to be doing,” he said.

Fr. Mardiros welcomed several parents to talk to the delegates about the tools and resources parents need to pass the flame of Armenian Christianity to the next generation.

First to speak was Bruce Ashbahian, a father of three from the Church of the Holy Martyrs in Bayside, NY, who noted parents are pulled in many directions by their children’s various classes, programs, and appointments.
“When we were younger we could go places on our own. Today, with what’s going on in the world, we do not let our children go anywhere without us. So we have to get more involved with family events,” he said. “We have events where it is not just the mothers going or the fathers going, but they have a set up where children can come too so the whole family can be in church. We need to have the family together.”

He also said it was important for parents to take the time to learn about the Armenian Church.

“We parents need education. My wife is not Armenian, she was brought up in the Catholic Church, and she was intimidated by going to our church because she didn’t understand what was going on,” he said. “But we started a program in our church a few years ago, Badarak 101, and she read some of the materials and realized our church is not that much different then the church she grew up in and she felt comfortable getting involved in teaching our children in the parish. Education is important, we need something to send home with the parents to be able to further what we are able to provide in Sunday School. We just don’t have enough time.”

Dn. Serop Demirjian, of the St. Gregory of Narek Church of Cleveland, OH, and father of three daughters, said it was important for parents to find spouses who share their faith.

“You have to find a mate who not only you will fall in love with but with whom you share your faith and commitment,” he said.

He noted that in America, not only do Armenians have to be Christian in a secular society, but must maintain their culture in a culture that looks for conformity.

“Being in America, your kids are growing up in an area where their peers think being an Armenian is a disease almost. They look different they act different they eat different food,” he said. “Fortunately I know those Armenian treasures, and that’s why we as a parent install in our kids concentrate on the treasures we have and how special they are.”

“If we, as parents, we have done our job with 110 percent and if we, as a church family, have done our job well, our kids will also see the importance,” he added. “And rather than wanting to pull away form the church and their roots, they will want to grow closer.”

Vrej Kolandjian, a father of three and parish council chairman of the St. Kevork Church in Houston, TX, has lived in many communities throughout the world. He said the Armenian Church served as his haven throughout his travels.

“I never had an identity crisis, in spite of several nationalities I have,” he said. “We felt very protected by some kind of shield. This shield was the Armenian Church. Our children are starting to understand the richness of our culture, but most important of all the value of this home away from home. What else can one expect from the Armenian Church. The safe harbor that we are ignoring is unique and priceless. Many other cultures don’t have it.”

He noted that the church is the collection of individual actions.

“I believe very strongly that we are the church. We individually are the church and if something needs to be done we have to do it parish by parish,” he said. “For young Armenians to be raised as Christian Armenians, we need to be role models. But let them sail around, let them go away and discover in their guts, not in their brains, in their guts how it feels coming through storms to discover a safe harbor, which is the Armenian church. Let us work united, together, parish by parish, to keep the harbor safe and welcoming.”

Aram Megerian, a father of two who was raised in the Philadelphia area and now is a leader in the St. Hagop Church of St. Petersburg, FL, knows that he does not have the same resources and community his parents had. He dose not have dozens of other Armenian families in the area and a large communal presence.

He said it is important to give children a foundation, so when they grow up they will have the Armenian Church identity to turn to.

“The church is the parent of each of our children. To me being Armenian is being Christian. One is not separate from the other,” he said. “It is not only the teaching of Christ my children need, the teaching of Christ transcends all people. But it is the teaching of Christ and how it has affected our Armenian people, that makes it great.”

“Give us programs so children who do not have Armenian School can go to camps and get the foundation we had,” he added. “Because with this foundation, when our children will walk away, that’s what they do, eventually they will look for something and they will find the foundation we gave them.”

Raffi Festekjian, a father of three and chairman of the Armenia Fund USA, told delegates that the church must provide more than spiritual guidance.

“There are so many new challenges we have to face that we aren’t experienced in, what we need is seeking guidance in addition to spiritual guidance,” he said. “The church has to come to our homes and understand what the challenges are, the pitfalls of being a teenager.”

“Life is much more complex today, and the last thing we need is just spiritual guidance,” he said. “That is an important cornerstone for our family, but we need more help and the church is an important place to bring this type of advice and guidance to our families. There is a gap in the community to meet those demands, and the church can fill that need.”

Posted by Jake at May 4, 2007 10:35 AM