Panel of young Armenians

On Friday a panel of young people from throughout the Diocese spoke about their faith and heritage, and how the church can attract the next generation of faithful.

"For those of you who fear the flame is dying, fear not. The flame may not burn in all of us but the pilot light is still on," said Arda Haratunian, who moderated the seven-member panel.

What follows are excerpts from the discussion.

TELL US ABOUT WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOUR ARMENIAN EXPERIENCE IS

Chris Tashjian, ACYOA Central Council Member and parishioners from Holy Trinity Church of Cambridge: "As I got older, I would still come to church in the summers and I knew church was important to me. But as far as being a leader, I wasn't involved. Then I was chosen to go to Armenia to celebrate the 1700th anniversary. It is one of those experiences that help change your life. Not to be cliché but it was unbelievable. It really instilled in me what can I do to help my community."

Jennifer Morris, ACYOA Central Council chair and parishioner from St. John Church in Southfield, MI: "For me being an Armenian is who I've been my entire life. I don't know anything different. With the blond hair and name, I was constantly asked if I was an Armenian. And when I was younger, I would go home and cry. I almost felt I needed to prove my identity growing up. But now I’m confident about my identity and don't feel the need to anymore."

"And like others, when I went to college I lost touch of my church. But we had visits by Fr. Vasken and Yn. Arpi (Kouzouian) with youth ministry, and my pastor (Fr. Garabed Kochakian) was great. And through their enthusiasm they brought me into the life of the church. They just had such a great love for what they were doing and I couldn't help but being drawn in."

Anna Demerjian, parishioner, Armenian School teacher, and choir member from St. Gregory the Enlightener Church of White Plains, NY: "It's a hard question for me to answer -- what is my Armenian experience -- because I was born and raised in Armenia and moved here just two years ago. It's odd to think about that experience, because living in Armenia is about as Armenian as you can get."

"However after thinking about it more deeply, I thought how much we take for granted in Armenia and how much I've learned to be thankful for being Armenia while not living in Armenia. When I left the church there I was feeling very sad, but here the church here has opened its arms and let me in and it's an amazing experience."

"In the church in Armenia the flame has not been as strong the past couple of decades, because of communism, but in the past few years the flame has been strong and has come back and it is very exciting for me."

Lena Guleserian, parishioner from St. Peter Church in Watervliet: "I am a first generation Armenian American. I was born speaking Armenian in the house, going to Sunday school and Armenian school. I grew up in ACYOA. I consider myself an Armenian Christian now."

Roy Seter, a college freshman and parishioner at the Holy Martyrs Church of Bayside, NY: "My parents were born in Istanbul. When they came, they came for the betterment of my sister and myself and their main thing was to get an education. So the first thing they did was enroll me in the Saturday school in Holy Martyrs. And besides learning Armenian at home, which I did before English, it really helped me so much. I'm glad I learned the language, because now after years of wasting my Saturdays I'm so happy I will be able to pass on what I learned to my children."

"On my college application essays, I wrote about why I was at school on Saturdays when all my friends were watching cartoons. It was hard then, but now it is an easy question to answer now that I'm older."

Arpie Paylan, a parishioner from St. James Church of Evanston, IL: "My Armenian experience has been as an Armenian, and not necessarily as an Armenian Christian. I think now, at this point in my life, I'm coming into that religious heritage. But for the majority of my life, my concern has been my responsibility to my cultural heritage."

"It has been difficult in that I didn't involve myself in the Armenian community. I often felt different from my friends. I was the one Armenian in my high school and one of 10 in my university. I always felt I was unable to understand what my responsibility was to my culture. Even now I fight against it. I say that it's not my responsibility, it is just something I was born into. But at the same time, I realize because it's something unique, it is something I need to hold onto."

Justin Ajemian, parishioner at St. Leon Church of Fair Lawn, NJ, and a part-time seminarian at St. Nersess Seminary: "I wasn't brought up really Armenian until about five years ago, when I went to St. Nersess for summer conferences. I'm half Armenian and third generation Armenian America, and I don't speak Armenian, so it's really hard to know what is Armenian to me. But when I went to St. Nersess it opened my eyes to see what is an Armenian and what should it be. So now I'm a part-time seminarian and with God's will, hopefully I will one day be a priest in the Armenian Church."

WAS THERE A FLAME BEARER IN FAMILY?

Demerjian: "Here in America, the flame is the culture and the faith, but in Armenia the culture wasn't an issue. We had it, but the faith was an issue. In Soviet times my family didn't really attend church, but here I am. I am part of a lucky generation, to be blessed by God to carry this flame and pass on the flame of faith and Christ's teachings to future generations and also to give back to my parents' generation, because they didn't have the privilege to carry it."

Tashjian: "My parent's didn't bring me to church at 10:15 in the morning and then go off to play golf with friends. Unfortunately that happens. I had friends in Sunday School who drifted off from the church because their parents didn't instill that respect."

Morris: "My mom was one of those drop-off moms. She would take me to Sunday School and then another parent would pick me up. She wasn't a religious role model. She was a role model who provided me with moral examples, but she wasn't a religious role model. But I was lucky enough to have a strong parish to support and lead me. As well as grandparents who lived to be 100 and served as valuable role models."

Paylan: "In my life the flame bearer has been my mother. What is interesting about that is my mother grew up without a church, in Turkey, and they were really not allowed to practice religious openly. So that carried over to her life in America, and we really haven't been consistent churchgoers as a family. But she's always been a spiritual and religious person, but not in a typical sense. She didn't go to church until recently. That's been a very interesting way to look at religion and how it can be passed on."

Seter: "My entire family played a role by saying 'Count your blessings' and 'Thank God you're healthy,' but really, if you ask the question who in your parish contributed to us spiritually, I know in my mind I have to thank Fr. Vahan, who has helped make my church attendance maybe 100 percent. He spends tremendous amounts of time sitting down with me and telling me what to read and going over it with me. I serve on the altar and he spends hours working with me going over how to do it."

Guleserian: "My father is a very religious man, although our attendance in church isn't so stellar. But he has always taught me."

Ajemian: "My aunt! She was the one who sent me to St. Nersess. I was so adamant against going. I did not want to go what so ever! But she basically put me in a car and forced me to go and I thank her very much for that."

Haratunian: "There is no black and white definition for the flame, it is whatever is going to carry us on. For some people it is religion, it is going to church; for others it is just the culture, being Armenian. But we see the institution of the Diocese has a real role and responsibility to play, because who hires the youth director who hires and trains the priests? There is a functional role the church must continue playing it isn't only up to us as parents."

WHO IN YOUR PARISH PLAYED A ROLE IN GIVING YOU THE FLAME?

Paylan: "I was a Hye Camp counselor three years ago and met Fr. Yeprem. I guess the only thing I can say is I genuinely see him as believing deeply in God in everything he does and it shows. So, for me, it has been critically important to see that, because you often wonder what it means to believe in God and what it does for you. And to see that his belief makes him a very good person and a happy person, it is very important. It shows me the depths of what it means to believe in God and the enormity of it."

Tashjian: "Dn. Greg Krikorian and Dn. James Kalustian. They've always been patient with me and have taught me the ways of the altar. They're very busy in their lives and on every committee, but they're true role models for me. Hopefully, maybe some day I'll convince someone younger I'm a role model for them."

Haratunian: "Earlier Chris pointed out that a trip to Armenia made a difference for him. A few years ago I was talking to a room full of ACYOA members and asked that that if the sky was the limit, anything you could do, what would you do to inspire and draw in a new group of young people. They came up with the idea of taking a bunch of young Armenians first-class, all-expenses paid trip to Armenia. If the issue was paying for every young Armenian to go to Armenia and that would be the solution to our problems the question is would we do it? The answer is probably yes, we'd just have to raise the money."

CULTURAL HERITAGE AND RELIGIOUS HERITAGE -- IS IT ONE IN THE SAME AND SHOULD IT BE?

Demerjian: "I can't really say black and white, they are not together or say one can't live without the other. Armenia survived. We didn't have the big flame of faith, but the culture was still there. Being here, I can just see how important it is to have the culture and faith together. I can't imagine not knowing Armenian or being an Armenian Christian without knowing the culture as well."

Morris: "I've been able to travel to 30 countries, and I've always sought out Armenian churches. What connected me to the Armenian Church is walking in and hearing the same litanies and hearing the same hymns and hearing the same language I love, even though I didn't know it. For me the connection is the service I love. And it's connected -- the language, the religious, the culture, the heritage. There's a feeling you have when they're all brought together as one. To separate them, I'd be saddened and disheartened if it ever happened."

Seter: "We have the world we see on maps, but when we look at the world from outer space we just see a globe there's no countries. We just see one world and it's hard to think when God created the world he really had the idea that humans would do this – create countries like an Armenia or a Turkey. When I think of Christianity, I don't think of divisions I just see the world we're lucky to see from above. I think it is important Armenians are associated with the Armenian Church but I think if it were a perfect world there would be no difference between people."

Ajemian: "I believe it was St. Vartan who said being Armenian and being Christian goes hand in hand. Asking an Armenian to deny Christianity is like asking a man to deny the color of his skin."

Tashjian: "Yes we are Armenian, but we are Christians. We need to realize what that means. There's a spiritual side to that that we as ACYOA tries to build upon. Christianity should be number one in our life, but we're also Armenian so there are other aspects. But Christianity is number one, because we all go to Sunday morning badarak to praise God."

Paylan: "Spirituality is ultimately a very private and personal thing and I don't think you can necessarily come upon it through religion. Definitely this is a way to do it. I'm not saying people who go to church are not religious, but spiritually comes first and that has to be a step you take and then the rituals that go into a religious ceremony has meaning. The Armenian Church needs to recognize that difference and understand that the church needs to be a place of acceptability."

"We need to have a discourse about religion and what it means to be religious but not necessarily at the same time questioning a person's spirituality that needs to be something someone can keep to themselves. The church needs to be a place you can come to seek spiritually or come with spiritually."

Haratunian: "One of the issues that has become controversial in the church is the language of the badarak and taking that a step further is why don't people come to church -- the issue of relevance and making it relevant so our kids do want to go.

HOW CAN WE MAKE OUR CHURCH AND OUR HERITAGE MORE RELEVANT TO OUR DAY-TO-DAY LIVES AND WHAT CAN OUR CHURCH ELDERS DO DIFFERENTLY AND WHAT IS BEING DONE WELL?

Tashjian: "One of the things our church has done very well is printing those pew books. It is there in simple black and white. You don't need to speak or understand Armenian fluently to celebrate badarak. It's the same service that goes on every week. You can probably recite it in the back of your head without even realizing it."

"Maybe we need to spend more time on the local level educating our parents and helping them. We should ask them what are you doing for your kids to try and involve them. If kids don't have that social atmosphere to make friends it's tough to get them involved later. It's important at a young age to establish those friendships that will really pull you in as you get older."

Morris: "A friend once called me a born again Christian, and I was upset by that. But then Fr. Garabed said that was wonderful. He said you're witnessing your faith you're remaining true to who you are and sharing that with others. Jesus is a part of who I am and that's a part of who each of us need to try to be. I don't think everyone is at that comfort level yet. It's been a journey for me along the way. As Christians it is our responsibility to witness our faith to others in platforms we interact with others."

"It's been a long journey for me and one many young adults at this point in life come across. It's our church's responsibility to be there with them along that journey to let them better understand their faith it is our responsibility to help each of them be better Christians."

Demerjian: "We have to show the youth that not only is it your responsibility to pass on the flame but we need to make them realize that being a part of the Armenian Church is not a responsibility but a gift. That is something that needs to come across."

"And the ACYOA Leadership Retreat, that is a wonderful program. We need to keep that up. It's one thing that really works. I like it because we always say we need to educate the youth to be leaders and sometimes you forget to educate them to be good followers, you can't be a good leader without being a good follower, and the Leadership Conference helps you be humble and learn to be a good follower."

Guleserian: "The one thing I think that needs just a little bit of tweaking in the Armenian Church is the transition of being at a Leadership Conference, learning all these tools and skills, and apply them when you go back to your parish. That was the biggest obstacle for me."

"Also I feel if I wasn't asked to be a leader or active member of the church then I probably wouldn't have taken the initiative in myself to be a leader and active participant in our church. So we need to ask more people. The people who volunteer in our churches, it feels that it is always the same group of people who are spreading themselves thin. I think that sets other people back from joining in unless they're asked. Usually if you go up to a young adult and ask them to do something for you, chances are they're going to say yes if you're personable. But you have to ask because you get to a level where those yes men get burned out and start to say no. So you need to get a more diverse amount of people to help you in church."

Seter: "The youth want meaning. What do I want form my church? It's exactly that. I want meaning. I want to know there will eventually be a day of judgment and I will be before the thrown of Jesus -- we'll see what happens there -- but to be honest with you I think it's really, really important that those of us who didn't go to Sunday School can be introduced into understanding the gray area of Christianity, even though Fr. Vahan says there is no gray."

"We all have these questions about why I have to go to church, why do I have to do this. I have found meaning and the way I found meaning was through the Bible and maybe if I had an endless supply of money I would buy every Armenian 18 and down a Bible and pay them to read it. I think by the time they get to the book of Revelations they'll start giving me my money back."

Paylan: "One defining experience I have regarding my image of the Armenian Church was in Hye Camp during religion class I asked why women can't be priests. I was told it's an old rule and there's nothing we can do about it so I should try to focus my energies toward roles that are already acceptable. I thought, well, that's the worst answer ever! But I feel that it points to this deeper issue that the Armenian Church is old and traditional and that's a good thing in many ways; but there are things that need to change."

"Religion has to be living and in discourse with its community. The Armenian church needs to always be in discourse with the community, understand its needs, and give up some of those traditional things that maybe have less meaning now that we're in a completely different society than the one the Armenian Church was created in. There are things we can give up without threatening the Armenian Church or culture at all."

Ajemian: "The most important thing we can do to bring youth into the church is live by example – by living as good Armenian Christians and explain to youth why you should live your life like that. All too often we get caught up in our lives and forget why and how to live like Armenian Christians. But we can't do that! Don't just tell your children this is how it should be done, but explain why it should be done and how it should be carried out."

Seter: "I'd just like to comment on what she said -- about this era liberalizing the church. Are we better or do we even have the authority to move against the teachings of Christ? The reason we have male priests is Jesus chose men as His apostles. Yes it's good to liberalize things, but it is the worst thing in the world to move away from what the Lord says -- the facts of the church, not the traditions."

Haratunian: "This is a tough thing to do in 50 minutes. This is really just starting. This panel embodies all the issues we can debate for thousands of hours. It embodies language, intermarriage, spirituality, stereotypes."

"My parents always told me it is both a burden and privilege to be Armenian and that has never changed in my 40 plus years of life. But a burden doesn't have to be a negative thing; it just means we have to work."

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Posted by Jake at April 29, 2005 05:41 PM